Mike Veny’s Ultimate Holiday Stress Survival Guide: How to Protect Mental Health During the Holidays

Updated Oct 2022

The holiday season has arrived, and as always, there is an added level of stress and anxiety that can arise this time of year. You may be feeling stressed about many different things, including having to see family members you don’t get along with, wondering if your finances will stretch through the end of the year, pressure to buy the perfect gifts, travel plans, how to get all your work done while taking time off to celebrate along with an ever-growing to-do list. And if that’s not enough stress for you this time of year, the continued political and economic challenges are only adding additional worries.

When you dwell on the list above, it’s pretty easy to lose the feeling that this is “the most wonderful time of the year.” 🎶 So, if you aren’t feeling thankful and jolly right now, you’re not alone, and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It simply means you need a little help to navigate this season while keeping your mental health and emotional wellness in check.

What kind of mental health advocate and corporate wellness specialist would I be if I left you to navigate this season alone? I refuse to do it!

So if you can already feel the tension in your shoulders building, pain in the pit of your stomach hanging around, and a dull nagging headache coming on as the holidays approach, this survival guide is for you!

How to protect your mental health during the holidays:

Browse this article by the sections you struggle with the most, or read it from start to finish. This holiday survival guide was created to help you feel your best throughout the holiday season, so use it however it will work best for you.

• How to Use Gratitude to Shift Your Focus
• The Importance of Practicing Self-Care
• Tips for Dealing with Family Members
• Quick Actions You Can Take When Feeling Stressed
• How to Handle Financial Stress During the Holidays
• Mike’s Favorite Gifts for Mental Health and Emotional Wellness

Shift Your Focus by Incorporating Gratitude into the Holidays

When Thanksgiving rolls around at the end of November, we all shift to talking about gratitude. There is this expectation that we’re supposed to take time to think of all the things we’re grateful for in our life. The problem is this can be easier said than done.

After you spend weeks preparing for cooking a big meal, hosting your family, or just pumping yourself up to make it through the long list of questions you’ll have to answer at the family dinner, such as “Don’t you want to get married?” or “Isn’t it time to start having babies?”, gratitude might not be the first thing on your mind.

But I want to urge you to shift how you think about gratitude this holiday season.

Gratitude is not a one-and-done type of activity. Yes, you can go around the dinner table taking turns sharing what you’re thankful for in 2022, and there are benefits to that, but it shouldn’t stop there.

Creating a habit of gratitude

If your mind is focused on all you have to do and all the expectations others have for you during the holidays, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. So I encourage you to adopt a spirit of gratitude this holiday season and stick with it. Create a habit to help you shift your thoughts to what you’re thankful for on a regular basis.

Not only will this help you throughout November and December, but it’s also a habit you’ll benefit from all throughout the year.

There are many different ways you can do this. Some people like to journal a list of things they’re grateful for first thing in the morning. Other people like to write down things they are thankful for from the day before going to sleep each night. Find what works for you and make a habit of it.

Practicing Self-Care During the Holidays

Creating a healthy self-care routine has a positive impact on your mental health and emotional wellness all throughout the year. However, it’s easy during busy seasons of life, like the holidays, to cut self-care activities out of your schedule.

When your calendar starts to get booked with the holiday extras, the easiest things to kick out of your schedule are the things like exercise, meditation, getting enough sleep, going for a walk, and making healthy food choices. The problem with doing that is that self-care activities will help you continue feeling your best physically, mentally, and emotionally each day.

Even if you need to adjust your schedule through the end of the year, find ways to prioritize self-care.

I have created many videos, blog posts, and resources over the years to help you take actionable steps for making your mental health and emotional wellness a priority:

Self-care Videos:

The Ultimate Guide to Self-Care

The Ultimate Guide to Self-Care walks you through creating a self-care routine with actionable steps that deliver life-changing results.

With the guide, you’ll receive:

• A 10 page PDF that you can print or simply view on your computer or tablet
• Clear guidance on the difference between self-care and escape behaviors
• Easy-to-understand self-care activities, ideas and tips you can apply in minutes
• A must-have formula for creating a self-care checklist uniquely suited to your individual needs

The Ultimate Guide to Self-Care is for you if you’re tired of feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and burned out on a regular basis. 

BUY THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO SELF-CARE

The 30-Day Self-Care Plan

Are you ready for 4 weeks of outstanding wellness? Refresh, renew and recharge your mental and emotional health with The 30-Day Self-Care Plan.

The 30-Day Self-Care Plan includes:

• A 36-page PDF that you can print or simply view on your computer or tablet
• A step-by-step process to help you reduce stress and boost your energy level
• Fresh new self-care ideas and activities that you can do at home or in the office
• Access to additional resources to help you continue self-care after the 30 days

The 30-Day Self-Care Plan will help you address self-care in a real and lasting way.

BUY THE 30-DAY SELF-CARE PLAN

IGNITE Mini-Course

Simple daily self-care activities can help you move from surviving to thriving. You can overcome the obstacles caused by burnout to reconnect with passion and purpose in the workplace and in life.

The IGNITE Mini-Course takes you on a 7-day step-by-step journey to move past exhaustion and burnout to improve mental health and wellness. You’ll receive:

• Daily teaching videos
• Suggested resources
• A daily challenge
• Reflective questions
• The IGNITE workbook
• The Ultimate Guide to Self-Care
• The 30-Day Self-Care Plan

This is your best deal for gaining access to all the Mike Veny Inc. self-care resources.

BUY THE IGNITE MINI-COURSE

Tips for Dealing with Family Members During the Holidays

Family. For some of you, that word brings warm fuzzy feelings. However, plenty of others hear the word “family” and feel their bodies tense up instantly. Navigating family relationships can be complicated, to say the least.

The holidays tend to bring additional family gatherings and opportunities where you’ll be forced to interact with family members you’d prefer not to see. This can also bring up a lot of anxiety and difficult emotions. Here are a few tips to keep in mind as you interact with family during the holidays:

Become clear on what boundaries you need to set and why

If you feel your interactions with someone have been toxic for you, think specifically about what boundaries need to be set. Make a list of the people and write out a statement of what clear boundaries look like. That will help you know how to handle interactions with those individuals as you see them.

Clarify expectations

When you clear up expectations on the front end, you avoid problems on the back end. If your mom wants you to be at her house from breakfast through dinner on Thanksgiving, but you only plan on visiting for a few hours, set that expectation before you show up at her house 5 hours later than she expected. Use the phrase, “Just so we’re clear…” Some people are vague in their communication. Help people get clear before the holidays so they can respect and understand your boundaries.

Learn to say “NO”

We don’t want to hurt the relationship, but then we say “yes” and resent it. You can learn how to positively say ” no ” to protect the relationship. Practice how you can do this in a nice way, so you respect your own boundaries as well.

If you want to learn more about setting boundaries and saying “no,” I recommend the following books:

• Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
• The Power of a Positive No: Save The Deal Save The Relationship and Still Say No

Quick Actions You Can Take When Feeling Stressed During the Holidays

Being prepared is one of the best ways to address stress and anxiety during the holidays, but there are likely to be times when you start to feel stressed in the middle of a situation. It may be that you feel the tension rising during conversations with family, or you can feel your blood pressure rise while you’re at the store.

Here are a few quick actions you can take in those moments when you start feeling stressed:

Practice deep breathing.

Our breathing has a tendency to increase when we’re feeling anxious. There are many deep breathing exercises you can try, but you can also simply focus on slowing your breathing. Inhale slowly through your nose while counting to five. Then, hold your breath for a few seconds before slowly exhaling for a five-count through your mouth. This can help reduce the physical effects of stress on your body and mind.

Incorporate these self-care activities into your regular routine

These simple things don’t take much time or effort to benefit your mental health and emotional wellness.

Practice mindfulness.

You can do this in the middle of a crowded room if you need to. Focus on observing the things around you. What are you feeling? Hearing? Seeing? Just be present in the moment.

Choose your thoughts.

Our thoughts are powerful. If you notice that you’re sinking into negative self-talk or other negative thinking, choose to focus on a positive affirmation instead. Predetermine a few affirmations and thoughts that counteract the negative thoughts you struggle with.

Do a mind sweep.

Take a pen and paper and write down everything that’s on your mind. This can be anything from your shopping list to your frustrations about your virtual work party. When you’re done, look at the list to see what you can take action on that’s within your power.

I encourage you to be proactive with holiday stress. You likely know the areas where you commonly feel stress at this time of year. Think through where the stress comes from and then work on identifying something you can do in the moment to break the cycle.

How to Handle Financial Stress During the Holidays

According to a survey by Capital One, “finances are the number one cause of stress (73%) – more than politics (59%), work (49%), and family (46%).” In addition, they found that the younger generations have more stress than older generations around finances.

If money is a source of stress for you throughout the year, you may feel that increase as the holidays approach. There are many additional expenses associated with the holiday season, such as purchasing gifts, extra food and drinks, and traveling to see family. Here are a few things that can help:

Be realistic about your budget.

Create a budget for the holidays and stick to it. Using credit cards might feel easy right now, but the stress and anxiety that will come with the bills in January are not worth it.

Look for ways to decrease your spending.

Are those fancy photo Christmas cards necessary? No. Do you have to buy presents for every single person in your family? No. Look for ways to reduce your costs so you can lower your stress.

Look for ways to earn a little extra money.

If you want to make a little extra income over the holidays, you can pretty much take your pick. With the employee shortage, it seems every business is trying to hire. This could be the right time to switch jobs completely to make more money or to pick up a side hustle to provide a cushion through the end of the year.

Give gifts you don’t have to buy.

There are many ways you can show someone you appreciate them without having to spend money. If the people in your life demand purchased presents, it can be a sign you need to set up boundaries. Don’t allow the expectations of others to cause you to blow your budget.

Watch the deals (but not too closely).

Between Black Friday and Cyber Monday, plenty of deals pop up this time of year. You can find a sale on just about anything. If you watch the sales ads, you can find lower prices on many things you’re trying to buy.

However, don’t let the “great low prices” justify buying things you weren’t planning on. Make a list and check it twice. If the item isn’t on your list, don’t buy it. You’ll thank yourself later when you don’t have buyer’s remorse.

Mike’s Favorite Gifts for Mental Health and Emotional Wellness

If you’re looking for gift ideas that can help your family, friends, and coworkers with their mental health and emotional wellness, these are a few of my recommendations:

• Journals or notebooks (My preference are Moleskine® journals.)
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
• Mosaic Weighted Blankets

Take a moment to think about what you want the holidays to look like

If we’re not intentional about how we want to spend our holiday season, it’s easy to end up doing what everyone else wants. Take some time right now to think about the things that are important to you.

Do you want to travel at the end of the year? Think about what that looks like and start making your plans. If you don’t, it’s more likely that you’ll agree to do things during that timeframe while sacrificing what you really want.

Do you want to spend a day drinking hot chocolate, eating cookies, marathon watching Hallmark movies? Then be intentional about making it happen.

While you may have to make some compromises around the holidays, you don’t need to sacrifice everything you want to do. But if you don’t think about what it is you want out of the holiday season, no one else is going to do it for you.

I know there are a lot of resources in this Holiday Stress Survival Guide, and that can feel overwhelming. Choose a few tools, strategies, and resources that will benefit you most and work on implementing them today. The holiday season moves fast, so now is the time to be prepared.