Let’s Talk Covid, Vaccines, and the Great Debate

I wonder how many of you clicked on this article because you’re secretly wondering what side of the vaccine debate spectrum I’m going to be on. You want to know if I’m “for you or against you”, right? Do we feel the same way about all those idiots that aren’t getting the vaccine? Or do we feel the same way about all those “sheep” that are just blindly following the advice of so-called “medical experts”?

Where do I stand?

I’ll be 100% honest with you—that’s not what this article is about. I’ve found that stating opinions about controversial topics like vaccinations, mask mandates, and pretty much every other politically charged topic is a waste of time. So I’m not going to add my voice to the conversation in the way you might have expected.

The truth is, it doesn’t matter what your opinion is when you’re talking to other people about this topic. And it doesn’t matter what the facts are either. If you want to have productive conversations with people around the COVID-19 vaccine, you have to get to the heart of the issue—beliefs and emotions.

There is a lot of fear and anxiety in the world on both sides of the spectrum. There is also a lot of judgment, criticism, and hate. When conversations are started from a place of judgment and insensitivity, there will be NO productive outcome regardless of how hard you try.

Are you against getting the vaccine?

There have been a lot of things in the world causing us to be anxious and afraid since COVID-19 first entered our vocabulary. And with the news and statistics constantly changing, many people are afraid of jumping into a decision too soon. When we’re living in a world full of unknowns, you may feel like getting a new vaccine is a risk you aren’t interested in taking.

There are also people who aren’t interested in the vaccine because they aren’t interested in any vaccine. You may have had a negative experience with vaccinations in the past. You may want to wait and see what the long-term effects are from the vaccine before you jump in line yourself.

Or you may have had negative experiences with medical professionals altogether. You might prefer to take a more holistic approach to your health and wellness and do your best to avoid medication and anything that falls into the category of “traditional medicine”.

You can’t understand why everyone is getting on board with a vaccine they know very little about for a virus they know even less about. You’re disgusted by the idea that people feel they’re being forced to get vaccinated even if they don’t really want to. And you’re tired of other people trying to make your decision for you.

I want you to know that your feelings are valid. They are your feelings and while it may seem like the entire world is telling you that you’re wrong, your feelings are your feelings. You are entitled to have your own opinion.

Are you for the vaccine and can’t understand why others are against it?

Covid is without a doubt a scary situation. You may have lost people close to you or have friends or family members who have. You may have had a scary round with a Covid diagnosis yourself.

Or maybe you haven’t had a personal experience with Covid but you understand the risk and tragedy that it can cause. You trust the advances of traditional medicine and the medical professionals who are encouraging people to get vaccinated.

You can’t understand why other people are risking their own health and the health of others by not getting vaccinated. You might be frustrated and angry at all the unvaccinated and blame them for the way this whole situation is going.

I want you to know that your feelings are valid. They are your feelings, regardless of what anyone else thinks. You are entitled to have your own opinion.

There are two main types of people right now.

No, I’m not talking about the vaccinated vs the unvaccinated. And no, I’m not talking about Republicans vs Democrats, or science believers vs hippies, or whatever way you want to group those for the vaccine vs those who aren’t.

Here are the two groups that I see:

• Those who feel strongly about their opinion and want everyone else to agree with them
• Those who are afraid to share their thoughts with others

People from both sides of the spectrum fall into these two groups.

Just scroll through your social media for a minute. You can easily spot the people who have taken up this fight from either side. You can probably hear it in your family discussions as well. There are many family members who have stopped speaking to each other over this issue. There are employees who feel they’ve been forced out of their jobs because of it.

Then you can find group two by watching for those who stay silent. They do their best to avoid the discussion. You really aren’t sure where they stand on the issue. They may be afraid of what others will think (and this happens both for and against the vaccine). Or they may not know exactly what to think just yet. Either way, they’re keeping their mouths shut and not getting in the middle of the fight.

The vaccine “fight” is never going to produce positive results

As long as each group continues to stay on their own side and demand that everyone sees things the way they do, this situation is never going to change. Think about it for a minute. How many times has someone debated with you long enough that you eventually changed your opinion? Probably not many if at all.

Debating and fighting only lead to both sides digging further into their own side. There is a lot of emotion at the foundation of Covid conversations. Ignoring emotion while trying to convince someone to change their beliefs or opinions isn’t going to help.

So instead of continuing to have the same debate that society has been having for the past year, how about we try something different?

How can we have productive conversations about vaccine choice?

Respect one another. Let’s start with a basic principle you were probably taught as a child from the movie Bambi—if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

No one wants to be disrespected. If you talk to me like I’m stupid, I’m not going to want to listen to what you have to say. But if you treat and talk to me with respect, I’m going to be much more likely to hear you out even if I don’t agree with you.

There has been a ridiculous amount of name-calling in the Covid fight. You see and hear it from government officials, actors/actresses, sports figures, family members, friends, coworkers, and complete strangers. Let’s just stop that right now.

Here’s something that may surprise you—you don’t have to agree with someone to treat them with respect. Let that sink in for a minute.

How have you been treating and talking about people on the other side of the vaccine conversation? Are you guilty of being disrespectful to others?

When we’re really passionate and feel strongly about a topic, it can be easy to cross the line and talk to people who disagree with us in ways that we shouldn’t. But once we remember to be respectful to one another, we open the door for more productive conversations.

Try to understand the other person’s perspective. Working to understand where another person is coming from can make a big difference in your interactions together. It doesn’t mean you’re going to switch to their side. It doesn’t even mean that you will fully understand why they feel the way they do. But it will help bridge the gap just a little.

Looking at something from another perspective is simply about understanding. It’s not about learning what they think so you can prove them wrong. And it’s not about letting them try to sway you over to their side. You’re simply allowing someone to have their own opinion and trying to get a base understanding of why they feel the way they do. (Remember, at the core, it’s about feelings.)

While you’re not listening to them in order to get them to listen to you, it tends to be the way the conversation moves when you give it a try. If you allow another person to share their perspective with you, they just might be willing to listen to why you feel the way you do. This doesn’t mean either one of you will change your opinions, but you may gain a little empathy for people on the other side of the fence.

Work with reliable facts. I want to encourage you to ignore all the Covid talk you see on social media. Let’s be honest, when you’re reading something online you need to really think through where the information is coming from. You can find a “doctor” and “statistics” to support any opinion you have about pretty much any topic.

It’s important to check where your information is coming from. Ask yourself what is the actual scientific research finding. Don’t trust statistics, quotes, and information that you obtain from a meme, social media post, or even the mainstream media. Don’t automatically trust what you hear from family or friends either. Do some research and see what the real studies are showing.

Learn the facts and statistics. If you had a broken arm, you would work with a doctor who was experienced and educated in treating broken bones. This shouldn’t be any different. I encourage you to consult with an epidemiologist. You can also look at medical studies conducted by university hospitals. 

Here’s what we DON’T need in the vaccine conversation

Since I’m writing this to adults, it would seem fair to say that some of the things I’m about to mention shouldn’t need to be said. But from reading the news headlines and listening to conversations and social media interactions with others, it’s obvious that there are some who need to hear this.

We don’t need bullies. Imagine walking up to the playground and hearing one child berating another child. They’re calling them every name under the sun. They have no concern for the hurt they’re causing. All they’re focused on is one thing that makes them different. It could be anything from the clothes they’re wearing to how they perform in gym class.

We would never stand for that as adults. I hope that not one of you reading this right now would walk by and allow the situation on the playground to continue. As an adult, you would step in and put a stop to it. Why? Because it’s not okay to treat other people like that for any reason.

Any reason. Even if they don’t get the vaccine. Even if they want to wear a mask outside. Or any other difference that they have from you in their beliefs or opinions.

It’s not acceptable to bully other people. No excuses. Not only is it hurtful and damaging to relationships and people, but it’s also unproductive. You’re not going to change what someone believes by bullying them into it.

Are you still up in the air?

If you’re still trying to decide whether to get the vaccine or not, I encourage you to speak in person or on the phone with your healthcare provider. Ask them what their research is finding. What do they recommend?

Then you can go a step further, if you want, and find your own panel of doctors (remember, these are not online YouTube videos). Get multiple opinions and see what the consensus says. But the most important thing is that these are medical professionals that you’re speaking with yourself. Not hearing from a friend of a friend. Not listening to information from social media. But medical professionals—from your area or others around you—that you are having a one-on-one interaction with.

My goal here is not to convince you to take one side or another. My goal is to encourage you to do your research and get informed from legitimate sources. Most importantly, to encourage you to think twice about the way you’re interacting with others around this entire COVID conversation.