Here’s a the presentation that I delivered at TEDxNormal on November 7th, 2015. The theme of the event was “Anything But Normal!”
Here’s a transcript of my presentation:
“How well do you understand your own thoughts, feelings, and behavior? For our discussion today I’d like to go over a few terms that I’ll be using. When I use term ‘asset,’ I’m referring to something that is valuable in your life. When I use the term ‘liability,’ I’m referring to something that’s a disadvantage. And when I use the term ‘mental illness,’ I’m referring to what happens when your thoughts, feelings and behavior have a profoundly negative impact on your life.
Since the beginning of time, the subject of mental illness has been a liability in our culture and conversation. This has made it extremely difficult for the people who struggle with mental illness and their loved ones. Worst of all, it’s made it difficult for the people who struggle with mental illness to get the help that they need. My uncle Robert is one of those people. Few years ago, Uncle Robert had a talk with me about his mental illness. He said the worst part of having a mental illness is being told that you have a mental illness.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. If you choose to see mental illness as an asset, you open up a great opportunity to find happiness, more success, and serve the people in your life more effectively. Let’s explore this further. What are some examples of mental illness? Mental illness can include depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and a whole long list of other diagnoses, and even ones we don’t understand. Who lives with mental illness in our society? According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, one in five people admit to having a mental illness. In my opinion, that number is not true. That only takes into account those people that admitted it.
Why is mental illness a liability? In my opinion, mental illness is a liability because it’s confusing. It’s very, very confusing. I was at the gym several weeks ago, exercising. And I ended up hurting my wrist and I had to end my workout early. So I went home to ice my wrist, and I knew that in three days, if my wrist didn’t heal, then would have to call a doctor and get an appointment. It was either a sprain, a strain, or a broken wrist. When it comes to mental illness, it’s hard to understand your own symptoms.
And I would like to admit to you that I’ve been struggling with mental illness my entire life. It’s been very difficult for me. Ever since I was a child, I had to deal with emotional pain every single day. I dealt with it last night, too. As a child I was hospitalized three times in a psychiatric hospital. I was expelled from three schools for behavior problems. I harmed myself, and I tried to attempt suicide at age 10. It’s been really difficult. And so confusing.
The other thing that I learned about society, is that we are tribal people. Even if you’re introverted, you want to be part of the group. And one of the ways we learn as kids to be part of the group is by learning who’s not in the group. Who’s the weird one. And that grows with us as we get older, into adulthood, and when someone is different they are out of the group. And that’s why mental illness can be a liability. I don’t believe it has to be that way. In 2011, I had a mental health breakdown and I made the commitment to therapy. I have to stay in therapy the rest of my life. It’s the only thing I can do so I will live. And I found a wonderful therapist, who can be frustrating at times.
My therapist, number one, she does not take insurance. And number two, when I go to sessions, sometimes all she does is ask me three questions. If I ask a question she doesn’t even give me an answer. She answers everything with a question. In the first few months of therapy, I remember thinking, “What am I paying for, exactly?” But days after my session, I would start to think about the questions, and I started to learn some things about myself. You see, when I started therapy, there was what I knew about myself. And there was also what I wanted to learn. But what I didn’t realize was what I would discover, that I had all these layers that I never understood about myself. I’d like to compare it to my favorite thing in the world, it’s a dish at the Outback Steakhouse called a Bloomin’ Onion.
The Bloomin’ Onion comes out, it’s getting me hungry just talking about it right now, and you can see this battered onion with all the different layers, and you really see how many layers an onion has. And we all have many of those layers. And when you’re willing to discover them, you can start to realize your potential. Mental illness is an asset because it taught me how to connect to people. Mental illness is an asset because it gave me my musical talent. Mental illness is an asset because it taught me how to be a better leader. And I’m not alone. There’s other people who have experienced the same thing I have.
United States president Abraham Lincoln was known to have struggled with depression. And historians argue because of his depression, he had the empathy and insight to confront one of the greatest moral crises in this country. There’s a TED Talk from a woman named Eleanor Longden who talks about her challenges with schizophrenia, and voices in her head. And she shares that once she decided to see the voices as an asset and listen to them, it helped her become more successful and learn more about herself.
I’d like to leave you with this. If you ever find yourself struggling with your own thoughts, feelings and behavior, or someone that you love is struggling with their own thoughts, feelings and behavior. It might seem anything but normal, but mental illness is not a liability. Mental illness is an asset. Thank you.”
Please share your thoughts, feelings, and comments below.
