Vulnerability is defined as being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed physically or emotionally. As men, we are taught early how to defend ourselves and the number one lesson is not to expose your weaknesses and to protect yourself. When it comes to having mental health struggles, we often are taught to live in silence in fear of the stigmas attached to mental illness.
We quietly hide our mental breakdowns, therapy sessions, medication adjustments, and hospitalizations in secret places and present a “normal” persona to the outside world because that’s what’s comfortable to everyone and keeps us safe from judgment and labels, right?
The fact is people are losing to mental illness, staying silent, and then dying because no one knew they were suffering. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is a leading cause of death in the United States, with 45,979 deaths in 2020.
The number of people who think about or attempt suicide is even higher. In 2020, an estimated 12.2 million American adults seriously thought about suicide, 3.2 million planned a suicide attempt, and 1.2 million attempted suicide. The numbers have and continue to increase with some subgroups being more affected.
When celebrity dancer, Stephen Boss, affectionately known as “tWitch,” the executive producer, DJ, and dancer from the Ellen Degeneres Show died by suicide, I was asked to share my story in an Essence op-ed, What Everyone Gets Wrong About Suicide: An open letter from a Black Male Survivor. I shared my story. It was raw and it was real. Human nature peeped through when I began reading the finished article. A sense of vulnerability surfaced seeing all my struggles and pains laid out for millions to read.
That feeling quickly dissipated with each comment, private message, call, or text from friends and strangers alike that reminded me of how powerful sharing my story can be. My story isn’t pretty, but it’s real. Every time I share it, I am motivated to keep fighting for my well-being and overall mental and physical health. Sharing my struggles with mental health does not expose my weaknesses. It reveals my resilience, my strength, my growth, and my progress.
That’s why it is my superpower. I encourage you to Share. Your. Story.
If you struggle with mental health, you are not alone, but only when we begin to share and support each other do we feel that hand of support on our back and know we have a shoulder to lean on or a friend to contact during a crisis. I encourage you to take off the coat of shame. Peel off that heavy feeling of fear and vulnerability and start having conversations about your own mental health journey with others who may need the support.
A few things will happen. I promise. You will encourage someone and you will learn the impact your story can have on just one person. You will be empowered and grow as you educate yourself and learn new ways to reinforce your mental health. And, although you may never know it, you can also change someone’s life.
Don’t hesitate to share your story. It may be just the right time to encourage someone to keep living and continue their own journey. I’d love to hear how sharing your mental health journey with others has impacted you!
