It doesn’t matter whether you’re a mom yourself or not — you’ll know, either through your friends and family who do have kids or just by keeping your eyes open through life, that it’s no easy task. While motherhood is ultimately rewarding, it takes a lot of hard work, especially through the pregnancy stage and in the early years of the child’s life.
As the old proverb goes, it takes a village to raise a child. While you’re unlikely to be involved in the day-to-day tasks, you can play your role. For instance, you can be a supportive figure to the new mom in your life. It’s one thing to just send a card when the baby is born; it’s another thing to be there and help to make the mother’s life as easy as possible.
Not sure how to help? We’ve got you covered. In this blog, we’ll run through some tried and tested tips for providing a solid foundation of support to a friend or family member who has recently become a mother.
Provide Room For a Sleep Break
If you’ve ever spoken to a new parent, you’ll be very aware that the biggest battle they have in the early months of their child’s life is the lack of sleep. You’ll know how difficult life can be when you’re overly tired — now imagine that you’re overly tired and you’re trying to look after a tiny, new human. You can send cards, flowers, and toys. But perhaps the best gift you can give them is to create a space that’ll allow them to sleep for a few hours. To do this, you’ll need to be close to the mother and father (you’ll be looking after their baby, after all). But if you are, then offer to watch their baby while they sleep for a few hours. Trust us when we tell you that they’ll remember the gesture for a long, long time; that’s how much they need sleep.
Take Care of Tasks
A new mother’s to-do list is long, long, long. But here’s the thing: most of the things on that list are not overly complicated, and in many cases, they have nothing to do with parenthood. They’re just the regular tasks that have to be taken care of throughout life, such as doing the dishes, tidying the home, putting the laundry out to dry, and so on. If you have some spare time, look at handling these tasks without being asked. No one’s going to get annoyed at a person who washes dirty plates, especially when they’re trying to look after a baby.
Ask Her Outright
Taking the proactive approach and just handling tasks that you clearly see need to be handled is a good starting point. But if you want to be really useful, then you could consider asking the mother what they need directly. You don’t know what’s going on in her mind, largely because she doesn’t know herself half the time. As we said earlier, lack of sleep can impact a person’s ability to function well. If you ask your friends what they need, they might say that they need someone to get something from the store, some fresh air, some food, anything at all really. Even if there’s genuinely nothing that you can do for her, she’ll be grateful to know that there’s someone in her corner that she can rely on.
Be Her Cheerleader
Motherhood is extremely difficult, and much of what makes it so much more difficult is that the parent rarely gets the satisfaction of knowing that they’re doing well. In fact, the opposite is probably true. Many parents somehow end up believing that they’re doing a terrible job. Put that down to there being no guide or manual for parenthood. If your friend is going to tell themselves that they’re doing a great job, then you can do it for her. Telling your friend that they’re doing amazing can do wonders for her confidence and mental health. It’s one of those simple ways to really brighten her day.
Help Her With Research
There’s a lot to know about babies. So much, in fact, that even experts have gaps in their knowledge. Even though the new mom in your life will have read plenty about what to expect once their baby arrives, there’ll still be curve balls that have them stumped. The issue is that it can be difficult to research the answers you need when there’s a little human that needs all your attention. You can support your friend by conducting research on their behalf and then providing them with whatever information you find. Whether it’s information on treating baby acne, managing diaper rash, or how to soothe digestion problems, your friend will be delighted if you come up with the goods. Basically, it’s about making yourself informed, so you can help your friend.
Facilitate Meetings With Other Moms
Don’t get us wrong: you’ll be able to provide plenty of love and support to your friend or family member. But if you don’t have a child yourself, then you could be somewhat limited in the quality of practical advice you can give them. There’s a lot of value in new moms spending time with other new moms since they’ll be living more or less the same experience. Most moms find this support group themselves, but sometimes, for various reasons, it doesn’t matter. This is where you step in. If you know other new moms, then put them in contact. If you don’t know anyone suitable, then you could always research groups in your community and offer to facilitate their attendance.
Gift Her a Cleaning Gang
This idea is a good one for when the new parents are still in the hospital. It’s so much nicer to return to a tidy, well-organized, clean-smelling home. But that’s not the experience that most new parents have. You don’t know exactly when a baby is going to arrive, and when it does, the only focus is on getting to the hospital. While they’re there, you could hire a cleaner (or a team of cleaners) to come in and really clean everything from top to bottom. The new parents will love coming home with their new baby anyway, but it’ll be especially enjoyable when their house is perfect.
Treat Her and Her Partner To a Date Night
As we’ve made pretty clear in this article: having a baby is tough. The whole focus is on ensuring that the baby has what it needs, and that means that the relationship between mother and father can become strained. But it’s rarely anything that a good date night can’t fix. In the early months of the baby’s birth, look at offering to babysit for a few hours so that the couple can go for a nice meal, ideally at a restaurant where you’ve made a reservation — and a meal that you’ve paid for. It’ll give the parents a chance to take a quick break and just enjoy being together.
Food, Food, Food
It’s hard to imagine not being ecstatic when someone brings them food. But it’s doubly true for new parents, who often don’t have the time or mental capacity to make a healthy, home-cooked meal. You can do your loved ones a huge favor by swinging by with some frozen meals. When they get hungry, all they’ll need to do is follow the instructions you’ve included with the food, and they’ll be on their way toward eating well. You can do this during the pregnancy stage, too. Trust us when we say that it’s something that they’ll remember for many years to come!
Keep Her Company
It’s easy to forget, but for most of human history, new mothers wouldn’t have been sequestered away in a home all on their own (well, with their family). They’d be continually surrounded by their friends and family. Now that we live in different times, new mothers miss out on the pleasure of just spending time with their extended loved ones. There’ll be plenty of people visiting the house to see the new baby, but how many people will visit just to spend time with the new mom? Make sure to plan an evening where you go just to do all the things you usually do, such as watching movies, drinking a glass of wine, or just catching up. It’ll help to keep the new mom connected to the broader world from which they may otherwise feel cut off.
Do They Have a Dog? Walk It.
The new baby will be the most important living creature in the family household. But what if it’s not the only living creature that requires some life and attention? If your friend has a dog, then you could offer to take it for walks from time to time. Your friend will want to walk the dog, but it’s not always easy to fit it into the schedule when you have a young baby that needs near-constant monitoring. Plus, you’ll probably enjoy it!
