Masculinity & Depression

Mike Veny

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the article below may be “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, we only recommend products or services we use and believe will add value to our readers. We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

I think there are a lot of people who have a false view of what depression feels like and looks like, especially in men. When they think of depression they think of someone being sad, withdrawn, quiet, and down. But, for many men, including myself, depression disguises itself as anger. Throughout my life with depression, I have felt upset, anxious, and scared, and it all comes out as anger.

Understanding real masculinity

I believe one of the largest problems contributing to men struggling with depression is the battle to understand what real masculinity is. Men want to feel like real men, but what does that really mean, especially in light of depression?

Here’s the real problem. Depression often feels like weakness, a loss of power and control. But, we associate masculinity with power and strength. The world gives off this vibe that “real men” are strong and powerful, so what does that mean for men who feel depressed and weak? When we feel depressed, it leads us to feel emasculated. When we feel emasculated in a situation it can bring on depression, even if we weren’t already struggling with it at the moment.

What real strength is

Understanding what real strength is can make all the difference. Real strength is knowing when and how to get the help that you need. It takes a real inner strength to ask for help when you need it, and that’s a strength that most men struggle with. There are a lot of “real men” out there appearing strong and powerful outwardly, while they silently suffer from feelings of fear, anxiety, and depression within.

Just look at the stories of the men who are sharing on OC87 Recovery Diaries. These are real men who are struggling with depression and other mental health issues. They are from all different walks of life, dealing with challenges that are the same and yet different. But, they have the strength to get the help they need and help others do the same. These are “real men”, not the macho guys that are walking around with a hot temper like everything is fine when it isn’t.

Not only do we need to transform the stigma around mental health, but around men dealing with depression as well. Real strength comes from doing what you need to do in order to be the best you can be for yourself and those you care about.

Mike Veny

Mike Veny won Corporate LiveWire’s 2022 & 2023 Innovation & Excellence Awards for his work as a Certified Corporate Wellness Specialist®. He also won NAMI New York State’s 2023 Leader Of Mental Health Awareness award. As a PM360 ELITE Award Winner, he was recognized as one of the 100 most influential people in the healthcare industry for his work with patient advocacy. Determined to overcome a lifetime of serious mental health challenges, Mike’s career began as a professional drummer and evolved into becoming a change maker in the workplace wellness industry. Mike is the author of several books, including the best-selling book, Transforming Stigma: How to Become a Mental Wellness Superhero. He is currently furthering his knowledge at Maharishi International University, pursuing a Consciousness and Human Potential degree.
Mental Health Stigma Taught Me To Light Up The Sky

Mental Health Stigma Taught Me To Light Up The Sky

Lightning. An abrupt, discontinuous natural electric discharge in the atmosphere. A brilliant electric spark discharges in the atmosphere, occurring within or between clouds, or between a cloud and the ground. A beautiful but deadly natural phenomeno...

The Top 5 School Mental Health Speakers

How would the world be without the young people? Would striving for a better future be worthwhile? Would we, the human race, be sure about tomorrow without the young generation? I bet not. With a well-guided, dynamic, open-minded, and prospective you...